“LET’S TALK ABOUT IT“
Some people think abuse only counts when there are bruises.
But the truth is this: the tongue can bruise a spirit just as deeply as a fist can bruise skin.
Verbal abuse is abuse.
Mental and emotional abuse are abuse.
And the two often walk hand‑in‑hand.
In my classes, you learn a lot as you grow.
A lot of women put up with this daily, and some make excuses for men’s behavior — I see it all the time.
Let’s talk about it.
Verbal Abuse Looks Like
- name‑calling
- cursing at you
- insults
- belittling
- yelling meant to intimidate
- words used to shame or control
When someone calls you “bitch,” “motherf***er,” “stupid,” “crazy,” or any degrading name —
that is verbal abuse, not “just anger,” not “just how they talk.”
Mental/Emotional Abuse Looks Like
- manipulation
- gaslighting
- silent treatment
- blame‑shifting
- minimizing your feelings
- making you question your worth
- creating fear, confusion, or instability
Verbal abuse is one of the tools emotional abusers use.
They are not separate — they are connected.
Let’s Be Honest
What people call “normal arguing” is often dysfunction.
Healthy conflict doesn’t require tearing someone down.
Healthy love doesn’t require destroying someone’s identity.
Healthy communication doesn’t require humiliation.
And let’s be clear:
If someone reacts defensively when you talk about abuse,
it’s usually because the truth hit closer than they want to admit.
My Truth
Me myself was never physically abused,
but my ex‑husband tried to verbally abuse me and I was not going for it.
So then I was labeled like I wanted to be the man,
like I was “hard,”
because I would not tolerate his behavior.
One of my things I don’t tolerate is being disrespected. I hate it.
Some women only make it worse because they fear to speak up.
But here’s the truth:
A woman who refuses abuse is not hard — she is healthy.
A woman who sets boundaries is not masculine — she is wise.
A woman who won’t tolerate disrespect is not controlling — she is protecting her spirit.
Scripture to Strengthen You Through This
Proverbs 12:18 — reckless words pierce like a sword
Ephesians 4:29 — let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth
Colossians 3:19 — do not be harsh
Harshness is not love.
Disrespect is not love.
Verbal violence is not love.
You Deserve Safety
You deserve safety — emotionally, mentally, and verbally.
Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Don’t let anyone minimize what you lived through.
Don’t let anyone tell you abuse “doesn’t count” unless it leaves a mark.
Your spirit is worth protecting too.
A Prayer for Anyone Healing From This
God, heal every unseen wound.
Restore every place where words broke confidence, identity, or peace.
Give strength to walk away from what harms,
and courage to walk toward what is healthy, whole, and honoring.
Cover every heart that has been bruised by the tongue,
and remind them they are worthy of love that does not wound.
Amen.
SignsOfStrength 